Let's face it, no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while. With a few tips though, it doesn't have to be something that can harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind these 8 ways to handle an argument!
1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.
2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.
3. Don't say something you'll regret later.Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.
4. Don't bring in past woes.The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.
5.Learn to compromise.If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!
6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.
7.Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.
8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!
Got this from Genevie's Blog... Find it really useful.... So decided to share it in my Blog...
In life... always full of ups and downs, especially when it comes to relationship.... Conflicts is inevitable... I just hope everyone will be equipped with the knowledges and capabilities to handle things more tactfully... not to hurt your love ones over and over again... Note that: It takes TIME to build up love and trust but it can take mintues just to destroy everything... We all live only once.... so most important is to be be happy and always remember we must live with no regrets...
Treat everyday as a last day.... The next day as a Bonus day....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Yesterday is Vesak Day... Went Shi Ma Lu Temple with my sis.... and we celebrated Mother's Day at Serangoon Country Club in the evening....
Went to watch 'Poisedon' after the dinner.... 1.55am show... kekeke... Abit crazy ah.... watched such early show.... Aiya once in a while..... quite fun actually.... A very exciting show.... Just like Titanic... Just that this show didn't focus too much on "Love"....
Today is my 2nd of day... 2 off days in a row... Siok hor =)
Hope to have another relax day~
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Been busy last week and this week... lots of activities... meeting up with different group of friends... Kekeke...
Last week just celebrated Chinglee's Birthday and I also went to watch 'Eight Below'... A Fantastic show... Super touching++++... Really worth watching!
For those who have not watch it... faster catch it before too late...!
Yesterday went BBQ at ECP... My ex filipino colleague's Farewell party... She had resigned from A&E too... It was an enjoyable evening... catching up with all my ex-colleagues... The food was great, Philipino's BBQ style... really unique... the food were really nice... good marination~!
Will miss my Maganda Neriza~!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Ways to Resolve "Pressure"
Nowadays, young people are often troubled by "pressure", which harms their behaviour and work. Although remorseful for such attitudes, they constantly repeat the same mistakes. Such fluctuations of the mind can affect their health over time.
The changes of emotions, shapeless and formless, are merely momentary feelings. Pressure is only a psychological effect; there is nothing physically "pressing" upon us. We must learn how to relax and work hard, but not be rigid and attached. We must have confidence and try our best, but not be an upright and attached perfectionist. The body can be active, but the heart must remain calm. Life is impermanent. We should live at ease and at peace, and not trip over trivial matters. In addition, we must utilize our healthy body and mind to do good.
How do we adjust our attitudes? Look more toward the positive side of others. It is tiresome to keep track of others' faults and weakness in mind and punish ourselves with others' mistakes.
Self-cultivation depends upon on ourselves. By nurturing a heart of gratefulness, we will be able to accommodate anything with all-encompassing love. We should treat ignorance with wisdom, anger with kindness. Living a simple life will unravel ourselves from worries and help us achieve serenity.
INSPIRATIONAL EXTRACTS ~ Master Cheng Yan
She's The One.
30 March 198*
Winnie The Pooh
My Puppies : Crystal & Sushi